"I'm sorry." Mu HanXia said softly, "When you encountered those things, I didn't come back to accompany you."
He Jing's eyes moistened again, and she said, "What are you talking about? Can't I imagine how difficult it was for you to live abroad alone? I just hoped that you stayed in US imperialism and lived life well as a capitalist. I was even prepared to save enough money to go to America and visit you!"
Mu HanXia forced her tears down and asked with a smile, "You are quite ambitious."
"Of course." He Jing said with a smile, "I am your good friend, of course, I can't be too different."
The whole afternoon was spent with a glass of boiling water on a broken sofa. The two talked about each other's concerns during the past six years and each other's lives. But, Mu HanXia seldom mentioned things abroad. More often, she listened to He Jing talking about her experiences over the years. Slowly, the hearts of the two of them calmed down. As if even though they hadn’t seen each other in six years, facing each other, they were still like those little girls that had carried goods and laughed together in the supermarket.
Twilight slowly, bit by bit, fell, and the room also turned dark. He Jing didn't turn on the light. She pulled out a bottle of half-drinked white wine, giving Mu Hanxia a cup and herself a cup, they sipped slowly. The alcohol content was a bit high and Mu HanXia drank until she was tipsy. He Jing closed her eyes, leaned on the sofa, smiled, and said, "Ah Xia, do you know? I envy you very much. You are different from me. You are different from a large majority of people. We...most people, where do we have any dreams, where do we have any opportunities to change life? I... lead a mediocre life, struggling in life, getting old in life, busy busy, but I still don’t know why I am living. Now, six years have passed. It’s great to see you do so well in the United States. I’m so happy for you.”
Mu Hanxia was silent and took another sip of wine.
He Jing smiled bitterly again: "But I sometimes think, if I, like you, worked harder and more diligently in those years, would my life be different? Although I could not make my life as wonderful as yours. But, at least, I would also be able to walk on a different road. But, then I thought, different is different. I can’t do it. I simply can’t work as hard as you, so unresigned. You couldn't tolerate a mediocre life. It seems that every day you... what was that sentence, every day, you will desperately fight to live. But I, I can tolerate it. I always tell myself, forget about it, endure it. Life is not only like this. There is no need to go suffer that. Why bother to take that risk. What if I fail. I don't seem to feel anything wrong about it now. When I want to play, I can still go play. If I want to be lazy, I can just be lazy. When I think that this man's circumstances right now are okay and suitable, what if his circumstances are worse in the future. Hence, I want to make do for a lifetime. It's not bad. But..." She cried out: "I just don't want to admit it. My life is a mess. Obviously, I didn't do anything wrong. I’m the same as everyone else. I’m just not working hard enough, but I also am content with my lot and work hard. But, whenever I ask myself, I find that I have never really had anything in the past 30 years."
Mu HanXia's tears fell all of a sudden, and she hugged her and said, "What nonsense are you talking about? It simply isn't like this. Money and status are simply not the most important things. Ah Jing, you are kind, honest, and sincere to others. That is the most precious. You are better than many, many people, and better than many rich people I have seen in the business world.
They all are not as good as you, all are not as good as you! The people that I have loved the most have all turned their backs on me, But you have not. You are still my best friend."
He Jing froze for a moment, fell silent, and took a sip of wine, saying, "But I already am not that kind of person anymore. I am no longer honest, kind, and sincere. I will use already rotten meat in the shop and watch the guests eat it. If I don’t do this, I can’t even make ends meet. I have seen some people lose money and lose things, and I would hide it desperately for my own use; I have seen thieves rob, and I would only hide away and never speak of it. I have seen those rich people, seen those luxury cars, and I curse them in my heart to also not live well. Ah Xia, you see, I have already become like this."
Mu HanXia finished the wine in the cup in one gulp. She suddenly felt particularly uncomfortable.
She supposed that this is the true face of time.
This is what time has wreaked havoc in. We were born into small, ordinary lives.
Some people stay where they are, some people have already wandered far away.
Some people fight for their livelihood desperately, and some people pass their days mediocrely.
But, in the end, we are all losing.
In losing, we move forward.
Don't Turn from Summer
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